Anarchist Riots Break Out As President Declares National Emergency

This afternoon the President announced he was declaring a National Emergency.

All the media streams cut off early because their engagement was falling in correlation to the duration of the Presidents screen time. So if you swiped early you’re in luck, Free World Tribune was on the scene gettin the scoop!

“We’re going to confront this national security crisis,” the President announced in the Fortress of Roses. “And I’m going to do it whether you like it or not!”

As we all know by now, this was exactly the sort of attitude that fueled the Great Succession at the end of the Golden Era. Bypassing a system which they saw as corrupt and distant from the interests of its people, the citizens replaced the existing government with their own community bonds and when the time was right, aggressively rejected the government.

The President will use executive action to siphon billions and billions of dollars from the National Debt Repayment fund, aides said.
The President insisted , “I need to fund the United America Presidential Army, an artificial intelligence agent run military force under direct command from the President. It is for all our safet—“

As he was attempting to finish his sentence, anarchists from the seceded areas of Washington D.C. surrounding the capitol, surrounded the capitol with cars, phones, sound systems on jalopies and played music so loud no one could hear, or wanted to hear what the President was saying. Though it changed a bit from area to area, the dominant song that roared over D.C. was the 1998 Smash Hit “Who Let the Dogs Out” by the Baha Men.

Though many of us have never heard of this song, our research team notes that it was originally written for Carnival season in Trinidad and Tobago back in ’98.

We suspect this choice of song may be related to the Presidents recent ordering of the military to attack the Seven Jesters of Abraham and their carnivals, most recently in Miami, which the government views as “subversive riots”. The Jesters’ carnivales are very different from Carnival of the Caribbean, but given their merry prankster spirit, it seems like a connection worth noting.

They want us to know it was them, without outright saying it.

Though the Jesters have never been accused of violence, this government views them as “first-tier terrorists” with a penchant for “derangement and unsolicited freedom”. That’s the F.B.I.’s words, not mine. What’s left of the F.B.I. at least.

After the Army’s deployment to Miami, there has been confusion among its ranks as to who to take orders from. A majority of those in service wish to keep the Army neutral between the Seceded Union and Original Union, especially among growing concerns that the President is actually a sentient algorithm.

One of our military sources who wishes not to be named told us she became concerned when orders directing them to confront non-threatening targets on American soil became increasingly frequent. Many of her colleagues feel the same way. And a general consensus in the military, which is gathered by the choice chips every service member has embedded in them.

If you don’t know, choice chips are a secure way for organizations or countries to gather realtime, directly democratic polls.

Because of the results of the military’s choice chips, it decided to stay out of American affairs and only defend against foreign or corporate invaders. They are currently independent of any chain of commands within the State Unions.

It should be noted, that the money the President is requesting does not exist, nor does any sort of credit system outside his Unions borders so any army he wants to build will have to be donated or built in-house.