“AMERICA!! DO YOU FEEL ALIVE AS I DO?!” THE PRESIDENT YELLED AS HE SMEARED BLOOD ALL OVER HIS FACE

Tonight, the President had a few words for all the states still in the Union. Everybody looked glamorous as they strolled the red carpet on the way in. It was a dynamic room full of movers and shakers, you could feel the electricity in the air as everybody said the Pledge of Allegience. Everybody except the President’s Son-in-Law and Director of National World Peace. He seemed to forget the words, and then proceeded to squirm about deviously throughout the President’s speech. I for one, did not look at the President speaking much. Oh! I listened, all the while watching this honest display of weaslish behavior. It is against that backdrop I would like you to read these words to, as we present, exclusively the speech transcript.

“Madam Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, the First Lady of the United States, and my fellow Americans: We meet tonight at a moment of unlimited potential.

As we preserve an old world, I stand here ready to work with you to achieve historic breakthroughs for all Americans.

Billions of our fellow citizens are sitting at home, with torches ready to eat us and our families and I say wait! We are ONE NATION.

I hear whispers and see the rumors, that many of you believe I’m not a human! That I’m computer code!?

I’m here tonight to prove my devotion and humanity to the American People.”

It is at this point the President removed his sport coats, rolled up his sleeves, revealed a large dagger with a golden eagle and scarab on the handle and looked out to the edges of the chamber. The President put his left hand on the podium and his right hand grasping the glorious dagger raised above his head. With the speed of Paul Revere he jabbed the dagger through his hand into the podium, glaring at the scene with glee as blood squirt from his hand onto his face.

“AMERICA!! DO YOU FEEL ALIVE AS I DO?!” the President yelled as he pulled the knife out of his hand and started smearing blood over his face and shirt.

“Now, we must step boldly and bravely into the next chapter of this Great American Adventure, and we must create a new standard of living in this expanding century. An amazing quality of life for all of our citizens is within our reach.

We can make our communities safer, our families stronger, our culture richer, our faith deeper, and our Middle Class more bigger and more prosperous than ever before.

Together, we can break decades of political tomfoolery.

We can create new divisions, open new wounds, build new coalitions, forge rare metals for profit, and unlock the extraordinary promise of America’s future.

The decision is ours to make.

I hear many of you don’t believe this is even happening. That nothing is real!

Tonight, I ask you to BELIEVE ME.

[PAUSE]

Now, Demolicans and Republicrats must join forces again to confront an urgent national crisis.

We have just heard that within miles of our Northern Front the Northwestern Correctional cities, are getting trucks and buses and are preparing to expand into Free territory

I have ordered another 3,751 troops to our Northern Border to not only prepare for the tremendous onslaught, but to defend out LAND.

This is an issue of preservation…”

I should note that at this point I’m back to staring at the President’s Son-In-Law and Director of National World Peace, and have been for some time. He’s still deviously wiggling. I feel like I may have mind worms from looking for too long.

“…The anarchist state of beyond and within our borders is a threat to the suffering, security and most of all financial well-being of all Americans.

We have a moral duty to create and implement OPERATION UTOPIA as laid down by the Second Founding Fathers.

This includes our obligation to the millions of immigrants living here today, who followed the rules and respected our laws.

The Seven Jesters of Abraham do not enrich our nation and strengthen our society with their carnivales.

I want people to come into our country, and behave according to my standards.

Tonight, I am asking you to defend our very dangerous borders out of LOVE and DEVOTION to our fellow citizens and to our country.

No issue better illustrates the divide between America’s WORKING CLASS and America’s MASTER CLASS than everybody bullying the billionaires!

They pay for our schools! They pay for our food! We are living on their land! They are benefactors not enemies. They even pay my salary.

Wealthy politicians and donors don’t need to live their lives behind walls and gates and guards like the majority of Americans.

Meanwhile, working class Americans only need to pay for anything by accepting parcels of thought — reduced jobs, lower wages, overburdened schools and hospitals, increased crime, and a depleted social safety net. It works!

No women  have been sexually assaulted this year, within our borders. With our live bio-feed data streams within 98% of the Union, we can stand by that report.

We reduced illicit smuggling by governmental organizations by 10% since last year.

The legalizing of Human trafficking and its partnership with the credit industry have brought governmental profits up tremendously, at this rate our National debt will be paid off in under ten years.

I’d say we aren’t doin’ too bad! I’d say we are riding PROGRESS stride to stride! We are one great human program.

The savage, unruly gangs, who claim they love freedom, and hide behind magic and music, that want to see our UTOPIA destroyed , in almost all 20 American states, they almost all come through our borders – but many are radicalized from the safety of their homes.

Just yesterday, an anarchist was taken into custody for causing a disturbance by the border to Old New York City.

We are removing these rabble rousers by the thousands, but until we secure our borders and our minds they’re going to keep streaming back in.

Year after year, countless Americans are poisoned by toxic water supplies.

It is the scourge of the anarchists, among us and who sneak past our borders illegally who poison your communities.

It is definitely not negligence on behalf of the government. And its certainly not an orchestrated plan of population control.

We will end this and promote LIFE. We just need to come together. Right Now.

Not one more American life should be lost because of the vile wild people and there will be ZERO TOLERANCE.

Our guidelines and personality prediction systems are being improved everyday, we are working around the clock to purge dangerous persons and entities, from the physical world, and the world of data.

In the last two years, our brave SLICE officers made 666,010 arrests of criminal thinkers, including those charged or convicted of nearly 100,000 threatening comments, 30,000 sexual implications, and 4,000 disturbing imageries.

We are joined tonight by one of those law enforcement heroes: SLICE Special Agent Hector Jose.

‘When I was a boy, I watched my father be taken away by agents.

At the age of eight, I understood my father was a weak man, out to destroy everything I loved. I vowed to become a Special Agent.’

Wow I’m moved Agent Jose, thank you for sharing and thank you for your service. You are a real hero.

Wow. That was something. [ wipes a bit of dried blood from his eyebrow ]

My administration has sent to Congress a commonsense proposal to end the crisis on our Borders. On the Northern front, Eastern Seaborder and at the Republic State of Miami.

It includes humanitarian assistance, more ENERGY A.I., drug detection at our community gates, closing loopholes that enable whistle-blowing, and plans for a new mental barrier, or mind wall, to secure the vast areas of our collective psyche.

The border city of New New York City, New York used to have extremely high rates of  public gatherings, riots and violent crime — one of the highest in the country and considered one of our nation’s most dangerous cities.

Now, with a powerful barrier in place, New New York City is one of our safest cities.

Simply put, WALLS DON’T WORK and WALLS DON’T SAVE LIVES.

BIO FEED BACK SMART MACHINES DO!

This is a smart and strategic, bio scans and energy AI agents taking the majority of the workload – but human special agents in patrols along the way.

This powerful barrier almost completely ended illegal crossings.”

I’d like to note, it’s currently reported that New New York City / Old New York City border has the highest rate of undetected crossings, according to those who cross regularly..

“…So let’s work together, compromise, and reach a deal that will truly make America SAFE.

As we work to defend our people’s safety, we are ferocious as a mother eagle.

We are taking hostages every day, nuclear testing has NOT stopped, and we are currently launching missiles as much as possible, even with no particular targets.

If I had not been elected President of the United States, we would right now, in my opinion, be taken over by anarchists.

Much work remains to be done, but THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

Two weeks ago, the United States officially recognized the legitimate government of Brazil.

We stand with the Brazilian people in their noble quest for freedom — and know they will understand one day why we participated in over throwing their elected government- despite the apparent wishes of the Brazilian masses.

Here, in the United States, we are alarmed by new calls to adopt socialism in our country.

America was founded on liberty and independence — not government coercion, domination and control.

We are BORN FREE, and we will STAY FREE. America was designed as a way for the educated economic elite, and that’s YOU, that’s ME, that’s US- to free itself from the reigns of tyranny and power decreed by bloodline.

Tonight, we renew our resolve that America will NEVER be an anarchist country. We will industriously prosper.

Our approach is based on principled realism — not discredited theories that have failed for decades to yield progress.

For this reason, my Administration has currently cut all ties with Israel — and are currently upholding the stance that that part of the world actually doesn’t exist at all.

Great nations do not fight endless wars. And ENDLESS WARS DO NOT EXIST.

[PAUSE]

How will we be remembered?

I ask the men and women of this Union: Look at the opportunities before us!

Our most thrilling achievements will be written.

Our most exciting journeys are happening.

Our large victories are still to come.

We have not yet BEGUN TO DREAM LUCIDLY.

We must choose whether we are defined by ourFEARS — or whether we dare to TRANSCEND

We must choose whether we squander our inheritance — like I did to my fathers – or whether we proudly declare that WE ARE AMERICANS:

We are incredible.

We can impossible.

We know the unknown.

This is the time to re-ignite the American Imagination.

This is the time to search for the tallest summit, and set our sights on the brightest star.

This is the time to rekindle the bonds of love and loyalty and memory that link us together as citizens, as neighbors, as patriots, HUMANS

This is our future –our fate — and our choice to make.

I am asking you to CHOOSE GREATNESS.

No matter the tribulations, no matter the challenges, we go forward together.

We must keep America in our hearts.

We must keep Freedom alive in our souls, even if we don’t feel FREE!

Thank you. God Bless You, God Bless America, and Goodnight!” – the President

At this point the blood that crusted on the President’s rubbery face, looking almost clownish, had started to run again due to fresh perspiration. I look back at the Director of National World Peace and I’m pretty sure he’s shed a layer of skin since I last looked over.

LADIES LOVE THE LIZARD TONGUE!